Watching a New England Liberal attempting Southern religion is like watching a redneck do Gangsta Rap. I just love this guy. It's hard to explain but there is a type of person we probably all have met in our day-to-day who thinks quite highly of themselves, haughty may be the word I'm looking. A type of person that is rather proud of his/her station in life and mistakenly thinks that good fortunate is somehow the work of their own hand.
In my life I can think of a few... the kid in school whose dad is rich, the president of a company whose dad just happens to own the company, the movie star with the pretty face that somhow thinks his/her mind got them where they are, the US Senator born into money and maintained by marriage to money thinking he is a great and destined leader.
These people are a wonderful source of entertainment and fodder for an occasional chuckle. Let me see if I can explain this. Take the rich kid in school. I went to Jr. High with such a person. His dad owned a car dealership and lived in a huge house in a highly visible area of town. This kid exhibited conspicuous wealth. He had good looks and fair athletic ability. Let's call this kid Richie. I had several classes with Richie and another kid named Jimmy. Now Jimmy was from a dirt poor family. His clothes were clean but ragged and he was one of the smartest people in our classes. Richie, on the other hand, required private tutorinng.
Richie was brutal to Jimmy. He would openly make comments in class about Jimmy. For all you South Park fans it is similar to how Cartman rags on Kenny. One day Jimmy has enough and a fight nearly breaks out in the classroom before class started. Next day Jimmy, who sat in the back of the class, walked up to Richie who sat in the first seat of a row. Jimmy pats Richie on the back and is talking to him. Looks like Jimmy is apologizing. When he pulls his hand away everyone can see a sign reading "I am an arrogant dickhead" stuck to Richie well-pressed dress shirt.
So for me the humor was watching Richie's normal display of superiority juxtaposed against this sign of actuallity stuck on his back. A little break in the normal routine for the rest of us unknown to the teacher and Richie.
Or have you ever been dressed down by a boss with a booger hanging out his nose? Sort of steals his thunder if you know what I mean.
Ok... So back to the great orator of our age... Mr. Kerry-Heinz. Let me setup the background this way. Here's Senator Kerry driven by a belief that it is destiny driving him towards the presidency. He knew JFK, his intials are the same, he's from the same political gene pool, he's a war hero ( as yet to be dtermined ). JFK... the sequel. We saw in the election that this is not a shared illusion. The sign I would have stuck on his back would have been something like.... "My party likes me more than they hate George Bush".
So watching him prepare the way for his comeback is double extra fun.
In this NewsMax article we find our fumbling Senator on the stump:
The Massachusetts senator, at a National Head Start Association conference to tout his plan to provide health care for uninsured children, hammered on familiar themes of values and unity while repeatedly criticizing the Bush administration and Republican leaders in Congress.
If you open the DNC playbook you will find a complete list of ready to use bumper-sticker imagery:
Big Media=Good; Big Government=Good; Big Union=Good
War by Democrats=Good; by Republicans=Bad
The production of any speech by liberal writers or news articles by 'the press' requires that they simply frame out their work with the fundamentals of the subject at hand and simply insert the stickers from the playbook. In this case we have Kerry-Heinz working the subject of the health needs of uninsured children. Here's the structure:
(Insert Subject Problem )
(Discuss Cause of Problem)Republicans=Rich=Greed=Bad
(Discuss Solution)Big Government=solution=Good... Republicans=Bad.
(Discuss What is preventing implementation of Solution) Republicans=Bad Bad.
Of course that is the gist but how do you validate it? It lacks something.... needs to pander towards the hayseeds. Ahhh let's borrow a sticker from the GOP playbook Jesus=Good God=Good.
Now stepping from the stump to the pulpit Kerry-Heinz speaks ex Cathedra:
"'I went back and reread the whole New Testament the other day. Nowhere in the three-year ministry of Jesus Christ did I find a suggestion at all, ever, anywhere, in any way whatsover, that you ought to take the money from the poor, the opportunities from the poor and give them to the rich people,' Kerry said."
I guess he must have missed this part:
Tell us therefore, What thinkest thou? Is it lawful to give tribute unto Caesar, or not? But Jesus perceived their wickedness, and said, Why tempt ye me, ye hypocrites? Shew me the tribute money. And they brought unto him a penny. And he saith unto them, Whose [is] this image and superscription? They say unto him, Caesar's. Then saith he unto them, Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's; and unto God the things that are God's.
Considering most people at the time were poor and paying tax to Caesar who we could assume to be rich then there is one instant Senator. Need another ?
And Jesus sat over against the treasury, and beheld how the people cast money into the treasury: and many that were rich cast in much. And there came a certain poor widow, and she threw in two mites, which make a farthing. And he called [unto him] his disciples, and saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury: For all [they] did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all that she had, [even] all her living.
And I am certain that this verse is seared.. seared I tell you into his memory:
And when he was gone forth into the way, there came one running, and kneeled to him, and asked him, Good Master, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life? And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? [there is] none good but one, [that is], God. Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Defraud not, Honour thy father and mother. And he answered and said unto him, Master, all these have I observed from my youth. Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me. And he was sad at that saying, and went away grieved: for he had great possessions.
And Jesus looked round about, and saith unto his disciples, How hardly shall they that have riches enter into the kingdom of God!
So I believe the sticker I'm going to slap on his back is:
" I am a religous illiterate pandering poorly for the center vote"