Thursday, January 08, 2009

The Opening Malaise Speech

Today I heard Obama do his first Jimmy 'Malaise' Carter impersonation. He needed to get this speech out there before he switches to his Lincoln/Caesar persona for the triumphant parade into the seat of power.

( Lord, if you could see fit.. a once in century blizzard in D.C. about January 19-21 would be a great suggestion that not all think as highly as he thinks of himself.)
Update: Thank You Lord.

Here's his plan as I heard it. He is going to create jobs. How? We're going to build windmills and futuristic personal conveyance vehicles powered by sources unproven to be marketable.

Instead of paying our debts we're going to use the money to fix up the house. Seal the windows to reduce our energy bill. That ought to go a long way to reducing the cost of our mortgage. We'll use the money to resurface the driveway, replace the plumbing, install new wiring and have new insulation blown in the attic and walls.

We'll hire the unemployed neighbors to do this while we train for a new job transcribing medical records to electronic form. Hope the job pays enough to cover the cost of all this home-improvement.

Once we're done we'll address those bills growing interest and how to keep our elderly warm, fed and provided with nursing care.

Lovely. Nothing like having your priorities in order.

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