Friday, December 26, 2008

The Day The Earth Still Stood Stupid

Just watched the remake of The Day The Earth Stood Still. Nice effects and CGI but I can sum it up in a tight package... Religious Environ-Mental Porn. This one is rated B for 'barf bag may be required for the environmentally insensitive.'

Klaatu has the power to resurrect or the power to kill. He has brought this ark along on his trip to modern Sodom and Gomorrah whose inequities of environmental heresy have stenched the heavens and brought wrath from the one above.

Examples of environ-mental religiosity :

There is the evil military high on testosterone with their shoot first ask questions later mentality that is causing the problem with the alien.

Then there's a female Secretary of Defense who is hard nosed at first and wiling to torture Klaatu to get information but when annihilation becomes obvious she regrets that they hadn't taken the path of dialogue. There is no military solution. If only they had talked with this enemy hell bent on their destruction.

There was the obligatory redneck knuckle dragging heretics in their pickup with beer bottle in hand yelling yahoo its the end of the world.

There was the modern beautiful race neutral white female protagonist with a Phd who had married a black man who was killed in the evil military and she is now raising his attitude-ladened hip kid by herself.

In one of the many Biblical allusions we find Klaatu in his Garden of Gethsemane where he and the Phd have a third grade dialogue that humans are being destroyed because they have harmed the planet. He is there to save the planet. The die has been cast but he struggles to find something worth saving. She pleads with him that 'We can change We can change' Oh yes we can.. there is hope ' moment that saves mankind. ( This is where the barf bag is highly recommended. ) Not even subtle. Straight out of the Gospel According to Algore.

The most obvious allusion they attempt is when the leaders of the world will not listen to reason and they run from the military searching for them seeking refuge in the home of the one man that will listen, her Nobel Prize mentor Professor Gore... I mean Professor Reinhardt. Klaatu and the professor do a little math duet followed by a Q&A session. Then the military finds them again.

So I would not recommend watching this movie in a public theater. I am sure you will hear moans, groans and ecstatic screams of environmental fullfillment thoughout the audience.


nanc said...

we're watching "friday night lights" right now - pretty good so far. the last we went to the theater was for "fireproof" a couple of months ago - EXCELLENT movie on relationships.

IOpian said...

Keanu Reeves probably set a record for the most amount of money per word in this flick. This is the equivalent of Revealtions in the Book Of Environ-mentalism. I chuckled most of the way through it.

The only thing I have seen that is as funny is the scene in the Blair Witch Project where the lady says we have destroyed most the natural resources in America... while lost for days in the woods not far from a major metropolis. Guess those resources survived.